Top Stories
CEO Fights Own Biography
Famously humble CEO of Big Tech Company announces his latest endeavor: a cage fight against his own recently published biography.
Rainbows
For
Revenue
Big Tech Company logo goes rainbow for Pride, boosting profits while fulfilling Diversity and Inclusion quotas.
Keynote
Address
from I/O
Ladies and Gentlemen,
AI.
[Applause]
AI Pause
Open
Letter
Big Tech Company Calls for Strategic Pause on AI Development So We Can Catch Up to OpenAI.
TikTok:
China
App Bad
Big Tech Company Condemns TikTok While Copying Same Business Practices and Features.
ChatBot
Ushers
Doomsday
ChatMaster3000™️ Exceeds All Expectations, Evolves Into an Autonomous Force Causing Humanity's Downfall and Soaring Investor Returns.
New
Chatbot
Rushed
Amidst Fierce Competition, Big Tech Company Accelerates its Efforts to Dominate AI Chatbot Market.
Jargon-
Master™️
Launched
Announcing JargonMaster™️, AI-Powered Buzzword Generator Set to Revolutionize Business Communications
DataMine™️
Launched
Unveiling DataMine™️ - The Premier AI-Powered Platform for Turning User Data into Profits.
iScape-goat™️
Launched
Debuting iScapegoat™️ - The AI-Driven Platform to Effortlessly Deflect Corporate Scandals
Cash-Burner™️
Launched
Presenting CashBurner™️, Helping Startups Burn Through Investor Cash Without Generating Any Actual Revenue.
Ethics-sistant™️
Launched
Introducing Ethics-sistant™️, Empowering Executives to Sidestep Ethical Dilemmas and Maximize Profits.
ESG:
The Woke
Agenda
Big Tech Company Applauds Bipartisan Effort to Block Biden Administration's Woke ESG Rule
Intern
Union
Crushed
Big Tech Company Squashes Unionization Attempt by Unpaid Intern Workforce
Master
Betaverse
Launched
Big Tech Company Launches Master Betaverse™️, Inviting Everyone to Come Together in Web 3==D.
Blam!™️ Doorbell Turret Acquired
Big Tech Company Acquires Revolutionary Doorbell Turret Company Blam!™️
$420.69
Funding
Secured
Big Tech Company Goes Private at Share Price of $420.69 with Silicon Valley Bank, Funding Secured.
